jayyyxem

Ok, so I've been trying to post allll day. Today, I was in the car on my way home from my grandma's and I was thinking. I was thinking about how I have this problem. My problem is whenever I like someone and they start to like me back I get bored and I stop paying attention to them or even wanting them. But, there was ONE PERSON that I honestly NEVER felt that way about. That person was Randy. And it's sad because he's the person I talk to the least. The last time I spoke to him, I believe, was in April. Like really?! I miss him :( But, I know if I text him he's gonna blame me for not talking to him :/ But, communication takes two people. And who knows if he even wants to talk to me ... whatever :(

But, I really need to go because it's 5:01 AM. This is like the 5th day in a row that I have been up alllllllll night :/ It's really bad. So, goodnight.

Last night put me in such a bad mood. I'm being such a bitch to my family and they're all getting annoyed with me. I can't help it, all I can think about is what he said to me. And as much as I hate him, I agree with him. But, that makes me think about how much I want to lose weight. I am going to. I plan on loosing as much weight as I can this summer. I really wish he would just go fuck himself though, I haven't spoken to him in months and I did nothing to trigger him to talk to me like that. Whatever, this town sucks. The people here suck. I can't wait to get out.

What have I fucking done to deserve being attacked about my weight?! And my skin color? Like if you're going to pick a fight with me, say some real shit not about my looks, that's pussy bullshit. I'm so done with all this drama, like fuck high school and fuck you. I CANNOT WAIT to be out of high school and away from alll these little fake fuckers ughhhh.

Folllow meeeeeeeee

twitter.com/jayyyxem

If anybody has a twitter, tell me your username so I can follow you tooo. :)

Ok, so there is only 4 days of school left. Then it is summer finallllly.
So this summer I want to:
-Get a tan (if that is possible?)
-Grow my hair out!
-Dye my hair dark again, I miss it.
-Have some crazaaayyy nights!
-GET A JOB!
-Lose some weight!

I will definitley be adding more to this list! :)

Ahhh my big brother is moving out! It's kinda sad. But, I'm happy for him, he's moving into an appartment with his girlfriend. And that means my sister and I will have our own rooms, FINALLY. We've shared a room since I was like 6, and I am 16 now. So yeah, 10 years. It's about time we have our own rooms. :) But, we haven't decided who gets his room, it will be mine. ;]

I'm a little depressed about my dog lol :(
So I have this beagle named Kimmy. My brother got her when he was like eight or some shit, I don't even know. But, we've had her for like sixteen years. And she's like really really old. She can barely walk and she's not house trained. So, we've had to keep her in a cage for a really long time (I feel really bad). We've tried to give her away to a family many times. But, they always gave her back. They always found something wrong with her. One time, she bit the little girl. I'm sure it was a little nip, but whatever. Another time they realized that she will eat things if you leave her home alone. Here is a list of things she ate in my house:
-Reclining chair.
-Matress.
-Curtains.
-Blankets/Chairs.
That is another reason she was kept in a cage. She ate many expensive things that my mother bought. She also had a nice big cage outside, not even a cage more like a big doghouse. We tried giving her away when we just couldn't deal with it anymore, but no one ever wanted her for more than a week. But anyway, she's really old and I think she is about to die :/ I feel bad that she had a pretty shitty life. But, we tried to give her to a family that could deal with her, but apparently no one can. This may sound bad, but I am kind of glad that she's going to die soon. Not because I'm a bad person lol, because I think it will be better for her. She can barely move and she doesn't eat anything when I try to feed her. I think she is ready to go.
:(

Today was my last full day of school, thank goddd.
I honestly hated this year. I did not try at all.
I am so glad to take finals and gtfo for a few months.
I neeeeeeeed summer desperatley. I really want to try
and lose weight over the summer, I feel like I gained
5425125 pounds this year! And I say this every year,
but I really want to TRY in school next year. Because
this year was so fucking stressful because I was failing
everything and I was on the verge of being held back
because of absences. I do not want next year to be so
stressful, I want to save up all my absences until the
end of the year so I can take off whenever the fuck I want.
I need to go make my notecard for my english final so I
don't fail this sheeeiiit. Peaceeeeeeee.

Ugh, I need money really baddddd.
I can never do anything because my mom is tired of giving me money so
on Friday I think I'm gonna go to Mandee and get an application :]
And it will be nice to get a discount there haha. Hopefully I get the
job so I can have some cashhhh. Lol, and it will give me something to
do, even if it is work. Life has been so boringggg lately. :l But anyways,
I have madddd homework so imma goooo.

Drive past me with your stupid fucking ghetto music blasting and ALL your windows all the way down one more time and I really think I'm going to jump through your windows and kill you.



:)

Wow, who knew someone who was 17 years old could be so immature.

Detention today was glorioussss.
Now I'm gettin all decked out in white so for SDA.

GOOO WHIIIITEEE <33

Carniii was fun. Got creeped a little, oh well.
Came home early from school today, still don't feel glorious.
But, I'm going tomorrow and it's Friday so yay :]
Weekend is gonna be GREEAAATTT, 3 hour Saturday Detention! WOO!
But, it's with Nadin, Evan, and Gab so it should be iight ;]
Buttt it's 12:08 and I'm tired as fuuuck, I'm gonna go knock
myself out with some benadryl and go to sleeep, night. :]

I LOVE THREE HOUR SATURDAY DETENTIONS.

THANK GOD I'M FINALLY FINISHED.
I got home at around 3:30 today and got on the computer at maybe 4:00.
It's 9:25 and I JUST FINISHED my paper. I am so glad I am finally done.
Luckily I was doing a topic that I'm interested in so I didn't mind
researching it. But, I am so glad I am finally done making notecards and
typing paragraphs and all that shit. Yessss :) Well, now I need to go
shower and fucking eat something since I skipped dinner to work on it.


Ahhhhhhhhhhh
So relieved :)))

I went to work with my mommy today :D
And I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow, I don't feel good.
:X

I have never been so confused. I have three people on my mind constantly.
One who I love, but who hates me. Who knows why, but I miss him. Another who lives hours away and I'm not even sure if I like, but who likes me. And the other who I liked so much before, but now idk what to think about him. Helppppppp. :X

So, we bleached my hair today, but we ran out of bleach so my hair is orange/pink/white/blonde. Aaaaaaaaah. Idk what to do, I'm etheir going to finish doing blonde or just go back to black, I might just do black because my hair feels like ASS and idk if I want this anymore :X

TOMORROW I WILL BE A BLONDIE. (:
I am soo scared, but so excited!
:D :D

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooow, screw you.
I'm in the exact same situation as you, stop acting like I'm the bad guy.

Today was good.
Now you pissed me off.